These days, a lot of relationships end in divorce. What is alarming is that many of these are due to the adverse effects of marriage co-dependence. Knowing the signs early on, however, and learning to overcome codependency in marriage may help to save a relationship.
Your mom may have reminded you time and time again of the importance of making adjustments and sacrifices to keep your marriage happy. But you end up in an unhappy relationship when the adjustment and sacrifices go beyond a certain limit. This is known as co-dependence and may cause your marriage to crumble.
What is Co-dependent Marriage?
Co-dependent marriage is an unhealthful relationship in which one person “clings” to another. In other words, one party ends up making too many sacrifices and adjustments while the other is becoming over-controlling. The effects of codependency in marriage may be quite severe. You may end up feeling angry and resentful about your partner, and these emotions could lead to divorce if they are nurtured for a long time.
What Is The Root Of Codependency?
So, how do the relationships of co-dependence begin? From where are they coming? Research suggests that codependency in families under severe stress is most common.
In reality, in families of alcoholics, co-dependence was initially found. The members of the family organized themselves around the addiction in order to protect the alcoholic and ended up encouraging the drinker to continue the behavior Researchers found that this involves many family situations in which significant stressors such as chronic physical or mental illness is present.
Signs of a Codependency In Marriage
- You stick to your partner’s unhealthy behavior and vice versa
- You ignore your needs in order to keep your partner happy
- Also, you take responsibility for the actions of your partner
- You’re going out of your way to do things for your partner that he can easily do on his own.
- Your mood is defined by the mood of your partner
- Your loved ones point out the over-dependence of your partner on you
- You avoid talking about your relationship with your loved ones
Tips To Overcome Co-dependency in Marriage
1. Learn to Say ‘No’
Once in a while, it’s all right to say’ no.’ Marriage is about love, and it must be worked on equally by both partners. So, if yours expects too much from you, one of the best ways to break this co-dependency in marriage is by refusing to do a few things you know he should do himself. While it may initially lead to elevated temperatures, it may help him realize your importance.
2. Think About Yourself
It also involves thinking about yourself, how to stop being co-dependent in marriage. For too long, you have sacrificed your happiness simply to restore peace to your marriage. However, it is also important to consider your needs in order to remain happy. Talk to your partner and let him see how important this is.
3. Get Some Help
If everything else fails, you can always get help from outside to overcome your marriage’s co-dependence. Ask for advice from family members that you trust. Better yet, consult a psychologist for relationships or a marriage counselor who can help you and your partner solve the problem and start life again.
4. Stay Focused On Your Interests
It’s time to start finding what you like if you can’t think of any. Start by looking at any hobbies you’ve enjoyed growing up. Check into any organizations in your local area that you can enter. Be inquisitive and play with various activities before you find one for you.
5. Do Not Be Afraid To Show Your Vulnerability
If you are a person who is usually “together” and often takes responsibility for your partner’s feelings, seek to be open to them.
Open and ask for assistance. This will make you feel closer to each other, help you connect, and make you feel happier to know that you can rely on your partner to be there for you while still being solid.
There’s a very fine line between co-dependency and happy marriage. It’s the responsibility of both parties to maintain a healthy balance so that the relationship doesn’t end up falling apart. Love each other, respect one another and stay happily married till the end of days!