If you found it difficult to handle your twins when they were born, then you might not have thought about their pre-school years. You ‘re tired to run after them as your twins grow. Managing twins is a daunting task and this challenge doubles as the twins actively compete with each other. If you don’t respond in time, your problems can get worse over time. Scroll down for the tips to deal with fighting between twins.
Why Twins Fight Usually?
Unlike all other siblings, twins often and rather sometimes fight. These fights start when they are kids; they fight for small issues such as being pushed or not having a favorite toy to play, etc. Their fighting manner might be different. Hitting, biting, pulling each other’s hair, scratching the arms of each other, and finally weeping. This stage of combat is very natural. As they begin to negotiate with each other, they are part of their growth process. This stage of twins ‘siblings’ rivalry will pass as time passes, helping them to explore and form their very identity.
Image Source – Imperial College London
Tips To Deal With Fighting Between Twins
Although twin rivalry is not initially a major concern, parents should have the ability to deal with it and to make sure it does not affect their relationship. In the house, you can maintain and restore peace by the following tried and proven techniques to deal with fighting between twins:
1. Be Consistent
Inconsistency of the rules, such as one-day rules and the following day breaking them, is often the cause of sibling rivalry. It is therefore your responsibility to ensure that your twins follow the rules. Explain to them that their behavior isn’t right and why. They will be puzzled by contradictions with laws, and will not grasp the distinction between right and wrong. The rules for both children should also be the same.
2. Keep the Twins Apart For Sometime
Twins appear to study and play with their friends and in the playschool. Home isn’t special and so they spend the better part of the day on the nerves. You better keep them apart if you tried everything to no end. If you’re outside for a moment, the other child doesn’t have someone to compete with, and your house would have a peaceful atmosphere. Just as the old saying goes, “The gap raises the spirit” so that separating them could make them miss one another. You never know that they can stop fighting.
3. Acknowledge them both
Whenever you see a fight happening, you automatically switch between your twins. Give them the opportunity to speak to them equally. First, give one child the role of an abuser, while the other is the victim. Restore the functions later. So you both get the chance to preserve your beliefs and then you can make up your mind. It is important to be fair to you when you handle twins. One child will always make the other feel bad and his misconduct may worsen. It is therefore important to recognize them and make them realize their mistake.
4. Keep Calm
Stop shouting if you want to stop your twins fighting. They might imitate you to get on your nerves if you shout or yell at them. Seek the other way, then. Take a couple of deep breaths or hear music. Get out and figure out how they are going to solve their problems from the place where they are fighting. Hold your calm; you’ll be a role model for your children and they’ll learn how to control their thoughts and emotions by watching you.
5. Step Out Of Your Home
One of the best ways to deal with twin fighting (or any other child) is to go home. If you’re concerned about exposing the problems to the outside world, take them for a while. When you go out and enter a new setting, it will relax you and make wonders for your bad mood. They may have stayed indoors for too long, and they need to burn off that excess of energy. Just taking a walk in the neighborhood or moving to another room can make a difference.
6. Negotiate
For any task, they choose together, try to create a win-win situation for your twins. This will work well to keep the peace between them for most of the day. Let one choose what game to play first, but then the other twin has to consent to play the game. Encourage them to turn and guide them to a winning conclusion with all they do.
7. Remove Triggers
Look for things that might lead to a disgusting battle between the two. As parents, you know that toys or games or books might activate them so that they never leave them alone. Twins even struggle when they get tired, so sit there when you think that’s going to happen. It simplifies life for all.
8. Give Your Individual Attention
An effective way to prevent a huge number of gaps and battles is to pay equal attention to the twins. You can actually spend time-solving a puzzle or reading a book together, doing anything that is “special time.” One-on-one is always recommended for you to be loved as a person who enhances your relationship as a twin.
9. Teaching Cause and Effect
Children of a very young age seldom understand the impact of acts such as biting and shoving. Make an awkward face and say, “Damn! It hurts “when one shoots or bites the other. Push your child’s arm against its teeth softly to demonstrate that it hurts a lot or mimics your mouth for action.
10. Warn Them
As parents, teaching your twins to resolve the conflicts themselves is a responsibility for you. Most twins are going to play together, which at some point is bound to cause a conflict, and because they are children, they can not resolve it themselves. Alert them that they’ll have to spend an hour playing or doing something on their own if you have to interfere the next time. That changes their behavior and diminishes fights.
These are 10 tips to deal with fighting between twins.
Aggression in twins, while they are young, is normal unwanted behavior. Children quickly learn, however, that parents do not accept such conduct and understand the reaction to adverse situations. You can help reduce the fighting between twin children and make some peace in your home by remaining calm and coherent during this situation.
Also Read: Interesting Facts About Twins You Must Know
