I don’t believe in ideal parenting. There is no such thing as ideal parenting. It is just a myth. Although, I believe in effective parenting. That is a reality and must be the idea of every parent. There are innumerable parents asking “How to deal with kids of today’s generation?”. That is one way of looking at things. But it is not the right way. When you use words like “deal” and “kids of today’s generation”, you are marking a difference and pulling up a fence yourself.
Instead of “dealing” with kids of “today’s generation”, parents must come forward and try to include themselves in the what and how of today. They must understand how things are different now from before. Instead of repeating the phrase “Things were different back then”, try to identify the difference with practicality. A lot of old ideas do not stand a chance in today’s world. There has to be a reason behind it. You must strive to find it because it is only then you will be able to match steps with your child. You have to cover the distance first.
In the old days, you had limited options to choose from. Your aspirations were limited due to less opportunities. You were taught to be patient with what you have got and do your best in it to move forward. But today’s child is not limited because of any of those reasons. They have multiple options and goals and dreams that they are burning to achieve. They don’t sit and wait anymore. You must understand the difference and be accepting of your child.
Give direction not solution
It is not your duty to give solutions to your children. Not until you are asked for it or it is necessary to do so. You must aim to build your child’s cognitive abilities. As a parent, you must develop a communication between you and your child that will aim at building your child instead of burdening them with orders. They must learn how to make decisions on their own.
It is okay to make mistakes
You will feel worried and confused a lot of times when you deal with your child’s behavior. It is normal to feel so. You cannot raise them to be perfect.
In situations like these you can think back on your behavior as a child and how your parents dealt with it. If you feel they did right, you may adapt similar steps. But if you felt that you could have been dealt with in a different way, you have your answer. No parent can be perfect. Not even your own. But you cannot bombard your child with things just because you want to overcompensate for your parent’s shortcomings.
Every parent and child deal with issues while communicating or dealing with one another. As parents, you have basic instincts for your child. Your intuition and knowledge for your child will guide you to the right way. Children grow by learning from mistakes and so must the parents. As adults, we often forget the basic things.
Don’t clip your child’s wings.
You must give your child the independence they need. They have to develop on their own. You are like a root and also like a support but you cannot push them to move in a certain way. Give them instructions to do their own work. For example, picking their own plate after dinner, dressing themselves etc. It will make them responsible since an early age.
Be the role model your children deserve.
It is a known fact that always learn more from imitation than by instructions. You have to first and foremost be the role model that your child needs in their life. You must make them learn the good and bad by doing so yourself. Your good behavior will reflect in them.
You must develop your own thoughts and philosophy. Let it be navigated by your intuition. You must note how your parenting style is and how it fits your child’s preferences. Your approach will vary from other people. Everyone works in their own unique way. You must fit your way by observing your child first.
Children turn out well when they are shown what well looks like. You have to make an atmosphere like that for them in your home. You just have to trust your instincts. It is no bad thing to seek advice from outside if necessary. Parenting is really a challenge but it has to be taken with ease and patience. It can turn out to be the most enjoyable experience of your life.
It is mostly the children who teach the parents how to ultimately teach you parenting. It is a path to your self-development as a human being.