If a married couple who are parents, too, want to divorce, the child is the one with the greatest pain. Divorce is hard, especially when there is a messy separation, but it can make it even harder if the couple has a child. You’d want to keep your child like any other parent, but if your spouse turns your child against you as well you lose his / her custody, life can’t get any worse for you. When an ex-spouse attempts to alienate the child from the other parent using different strategies, it is called parental alienation. The child may be negatively affected by parental alienation. It could be because of parental alienation if you feel your child is disconnected from you. Read on to know the effects of parental alienation on kids.
What Is Parental Alienation?
The child suffers the most when the relationship between the parents becomes toxic and they get divorced or go through a terrible separation. The child often receives not enough affection and attention and thinks that he is being neglected. One parent may attempt to distance the child from the other parent using brainwashing or alienating techniques. This is a kind of parental alienation or an emotional detachment from the parent. When told repeatedly, the child ends up believing those things and is distancing itself from the partner. This has a long-term impact on the child’s behavior.
Causes Of Parental Alienation
Parental alienation starts mainly with harboring resentment and negative feelings towards the parent who is not in custody. When a parent has child custody, he/she makes the young believe that their partner is at fault for any wrongdoings. This makes the child distance itself from the non-custodial parent and completely avoids them despite the fact that they have done nothing wrong. As a result, the caregiving parent goes through various psychological and emotional means.
Signs Of Parental Alienation
Parental alienation has as much an impact on a parent as it affects a child. For a parent to see their child (and the other parent) alienating them can be emotionally disturbing. Let’s understand what are the signs of alienation from a parent.
1. The child shows no respect for the other parent
Often the alienator parent can exploit the child and say ill stuff about the other parent, which will result in the child beginning to disrespect the other parent. Even if the alienated parent talks in his favor, the child may throw tantrums or have serious reactions.
2. The child is mistreating favors
Whenever the alienated parent tries to treat the child or does anything good for the child, the child who is influenced or manipulated by the alienator parent will ignore the acts of kindness of the other parent. And the child may misbehave their favors – it may make the other parent feel that he/she owes them something. And when they end up giving their wishes, they act as if they’re never good enough, or they should have done more. It’s a vicious, emotionally draining cycle.
3. The alienator prevents the other parent from seeing the child
The alienator parent may refrain the child from seeing the other parent by making false claims like the other parent is busy or uninterested in seeing the child. This will cause the child to get angry and frustrated with the other parent and the child will begin to harbor negative feelings towards the other parent.
4. The alienator parent inhibits the child from taking its stuff to the house of the other parent
The child may hesitate when visiting the other parent to bring his or her things over. When visiting the other parent, the alienating parent may encourage them to keep or store their stuff away at their home. The parent alienator may even ask the child not to bring anything out of the house of the alienating parent.
Symptoms of Parental Alienation On Kids
Parental alienation can have an effect on a child’s emotional wellbeing. If the parents argue in front of the child, the child may notice one parent facing them discrediting the other. The parent alienator may be slowly brainwashing the child. He/she may make the other parent falsely accuse and such false allegations can cause the child to drive the other parent away.
- The child unfairly or for no valid reason criticizes the alienated parent.
- The child has negative feelings for the other parent.
- When asked about his behavior, the child may say that he criticizes the parent on the basis of his own judgment. He may deny any evidence of manipulation.
- The child is supported by the alienator’s parent, who may even promote such behavior.
- The child shows no signs of guilt over the other parent’s criticism.
- Hatreds or dislike of the child can not be restricted solely to the alienated parent. It may be extended to the family members of the parent.
- The child has no solid reason not to like the alienated parent, or to say why he doesn’t like them. The reason for his judgment is the false accusations of the alienator parent
- The kid may use words used by adults to insult the other parent.
Impact of Parental Alienation on Kids
As mentioned above, parental alienation can be particularly difficult for children because it can have long-lasting effects, sometimes beyond adulthood. Here are some of the impact of parental alienation on kids:
- Unable to cope with work at school and low academic results.
- Social isolation, mood, and incapacity to connect with people.
- Be less conscious and lack understanding of other people’s feelings.
- Looking at the alienating parent’s personality and features in late adulthood.
- Psychological distress, anxiety, and an absence of emotional understanding.
- Constant anxiety, emotional pain, and a childhood ravaged by bad memories which last for a lifetime.
- Sleep cycle disorders, insomnia, and being unable to relax.
- Emotional pain caused by parental divorce.
- Inability to control and behave impulsively in circumstances and feelings.
Dealing With Parental Alienation
You have to first learn how to be patient and calm when you’re fighting with your spouse and trying to bind your child, who refuses to listen to you. The best solution sometimes is to confront the issue directly and not to ignore it. The more about the subject you avoid, the greater the alienation is. Every step you take will be seen by your children and will be forever remembered when they grow up.
Here’s what you can do when you’re dealing with parental alienation:
- Have Freinds to support you
- Learn self-care tips
- Understand about legalities
- Be Smart to tackle the issues
Children bear the consequences of parental alienation. Parental alienation, however, can affect both parents and children emotionally. Even when the parents get divorced, they should think about the future of their child and try to be friendly, so that the behavior of the child is not affected.
Also Read: Know How To Rebuild Your Life After Divorce