Emotional intelligence of your child
People do and say things that they normally don’t when they are controlled by their emotions. But a younger child does it more often.
Emotional intelligence largely composes of self-regulation. It is the ability to manage one’s own emotions.
The world largely focuses on academic achievements of a child. This focus pushes aside the importance of emotional self-regulation. It has been proven by a lot of researchers that emotional intelligence is a stronger predictor of the later success of a child than IQ.
Emotional intelligence is basically a control of your life and well-being. This must be developed in children so that they can go ahead and cope with the range of emotions of modern life. Failing to learn this skill will lead a person to be dependent on others for support.
Take your child’s emotions into account
Parents must first and foremost be aware of their own emotions. Sometimes it doesn’t take lessons to teach a child. Children often learn from what they see and they tend to imitate that. You have to instil the same in your child and help them understand each and every little feeling and acknowledge them.
Connect through emotions
The tantrums often throw a parent off-track. You can be distracted and lose the sense of what is right in the moment. Take your child’s emotions as an opportunity to connect with your child. This is how you will be able to coach them through all the challenging feelings.
Validate your child’s feelings
Not all children share what they feel. It is a parent’s responsibility to provide an understanding environment to the child for them to be able to feel comfortable. When your child talks about their emotions and feelings, you must pay attention. Be a good listener. BETTER A GREAT LISTENER for your child. You must say things like “I understand what you are saying” or “It is very brave of you to come and share with me”.
It is not possible for you as a human being to understand and resolve each and every emotion that your child is feeling. Instead, make a habit to empathize with your child. They should know that you understand them regardless. Just being understood helps humans to let go of any troubling emotions.
Try to label your child’s emotions
You must start with listening all they have to share with you. This warm space will encourage them even more to be expressive. Maintain a vocabulary of their emotional expression and develop an awareness for it.
Set limits for child to give them space to solve their problems
You cannot always be there for your child and stand up for them every time a problem occurs. You cannot do the job of another person. To grow your child with a sense of understanding and independence you must allow them to acknowledge, understand and move on to solve their own dilemmas and issues. You must have their back but you must not make it a habit to step in every time. Give directions than solutions.
Work with them towards it everyday
Its your duty to be authentic in front of your child. You have to show your emotions and make them understand how you feel. Keeping quiet in such situations will teach the child be quiet about their feelings as well.
You must take chances to show them how different emotions look. Make different faces in the mirror together and label each one of them. This will help a child to recognize emotions. Make a habit of reading storybooks to your child. Especially books that have an emotional story-line. It doesn’t have to be very deep but something that will clear ideas in your child’s mind.
Do not make it your responsibility to solve your child’s issues. Make your child more responsible and independent by letting them handle things in their own way.
Also read: How to handle Aggressive child behavior?