If you are a teenager’s parent, you need to be familiar with this kind of conflict. And you might have said, “Why can’t we get along with it? “Conflicts between parents and teenagers — though a natural part of life — may are upsetting to both you and your teens. They sometimes find it annoying, intrusive, or critical when you try to advise your teens. And when they’re not listening to you, you’re going to lose your cool. It becomes difficult to find a sensible and neutral solution appropriate to both, and the stage for further conflicts is set. Scroll down for the tips to resolve conflicts with your teen.
Why Does Conflict Emerging?
Conflict is an aspect of life. Regardless of how much you want your child to protect, they will face this truth. Within the family, with siblings and parents, with friends, and with society in general, conflict may occur. But the one thing you need to tell your adolescents is that there doesn’t need to be a negative experience of a confrontation. Remember, the conflict will create change, positive change!
Understand The Teenager Brain
It’s important to understand the teenager’s brain and the changes it encounters to understand why conflicts arise between you and your teenager. The author of Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain, Dan Siegal, claims that the limbic region of the nervous system, the sensory system, exerts even more effects in the brain regions that are responsible for higher-level reasoning than in teenagers and infants. This leads to more emotional reactions that make the young person more easily annoyed, frustrated, and moody.
In addition, the brain begins to concentrate in puberty on the optimistic, exciting side of a choice and to eliminate the negative and harmful aspects. This would increase the probability of teenagers being at risk. The increased emotionality and risk-taking actions of the teen also become a cause of the conflict between parents and teenagers.
However, conflict offers the chance for a better understanding and a closer relationship with your teenager.
Consequences Of Conflicts Among Teenagers
Without the requisite skill set, when it comes to conflicts, a teenager can land in tough situations. Unresolved disputes at home can lead to strained relationships. Outside, broken friendships, hours of detention, and even abuse can contribute to it!
Tips To Resolve Conflicts With Your Teen
Here are a few tips to resolve conflicts with your teen.
Do not try to get rid of your distress easily when you are trapped in a confrontation with your teenager. Reflect on your thoughts and emotions instead. Try to become a silent observer and see what’s going on around you and inside you. Take your mind back to breathing, slowly. Know that these ideas and feelings are fleeting — and that these will happen as well. Often it will help you calm down by only inhaling a few deep breaths, holding them for a few seconds, and then exhaling.
2. Give yourself a refreshment
Our feelings will also overpower our best judgment in an argument. Walk away when a conversation with your teenager escalates into a power fight. But before you go, please admit that you’re leaving because things go out of control and that once you’ve calmed down, you are able to deal with this. Delaying a speech does not mean you give up or give in. It just means that you will be talking to your teen when feelings do not change and you will take a more rational look at a situation. This is a good way to show your teen how to handle intense feelings, which will be helpful for the future.
3. Don’t personalize
It’s only normal to feel incredibly hurt or frustrated because she was hurting similarly because of what your teen might have said. Don’t hold grudges, though, or give your teenager a cold shoulder. Nor should you be subject to her silent treatment. If you find yourself being unnecessarily critical or passing snide remarks, recognize that you still have unsolved feelings. Recognize them, take a look at yourself and fix them. In the same way, connect with your teen when you’re ready. But if they try to give you the silent treatment, disregard it, and go about your business, just to communicate with them later.
4. Give Some Space
It’s best not to ask your teenager to necessarily accept or affirm your feelings with your claims. In the aftermath of a confrontation, your teenager is often left with emotions of hurt and rage. Your teen may not have been able to articulate what he desired, and is, thus, disappointed. Venting his frustration on you might be the way for your teen to release his anxiety and all the pent-up emotions he had long held in. Whatever the cause, instead of causing a sense of shame and guilt in him, encourage him to determine when he’s ready to speak to you.
5. Specify the desired behavior
One of the best ways to prevent unnecessary disputes is to explain the improvements that your teen would like to make, to be clear about what action should stop and what should begin. Ensure that the improvements you request are fair. You can tell your teen, for instance, “Can you start doing your homework at 7 PM and not 9 PM?” or “Instead of pushing him backward, for some time in your spare time, play with your little brother.” Your teen is more likely to behave appropriately when you state your needs and desires. And last but not least, when they exhibit the desired actions, don’t forget to compliment your teen.
These are few tips to tips to resolve conflicts with your teen.
Handling Teen Threats
Your teen can often threaten you with drastic action and dire consequences such as “I’ll run away” or “I’ll stop going to school/college,” according to Carl E Pickhardt, author of “Stop the Screaming.” Your teen uses this tactic to provoke you, get you to respond. “You might say,” These don’t sound like making really helpful or happy decisions, and maybe you’d regret making them. But the decision we made that you weren’t going to sleep at your friend’s place after the college party was a firm one.
Teaching adolescents to overcome conflict before puberty turns them into rebels. And you have to be there for them as a parent. Know what’s going on in your life, but be present in compliance with your privacy. The hormones that are raging will subside. Just make sure they don’t leave a permanent mark on the life of your teenager!
Also Read: What Your Teenager Wants From You